Ever since that experience of God.
It is like God is always in my heart.
It is like everything I look inside.
I could see God.
And could gaze at him.
It is said, contemplation.
Is a gaze of love on God.
Then I was told.
God is not a personal God.
How could He not be personal?
I experienced him as a personal God.
He cares for me.
He looks after me.
We have a name for that.
Divine providence.
I experienced it markedly.
After the passing of my hubby.
It was so remarkable.
The way Divine Providence looked after me,
My hubby chose to die four days.
After the monthly income came in.
And everything moved so smoothly.
This new knowledge means,
Re-adjusting my beliefs again.
And it is not the first time.
The first time was when I woke up one day,
With one thought rattling in my mind.
The Catholic Church does not have a monopoly on God.
To always believe that at the back of my mind.
And to have it denied.
Was like ground cut from under my feet.
Now, added to this new info is the fact,
God does not directly created you.
That extra terrestrial beings,
Help manipulate our DNA.
That was a real let down.
I always thought,
Our human body is so intricate.
It is proof there is a God.
Only God can create something so intricate.
A body that works so smoothly.
How do I digest all this?
With the one term, Oneness.
A force, an energy I experience.
In everything around me.
I called him the God of the Universe.
Hence I was able to merge my belief.
In God to the Infinite Creator.
Again, mysticism came to my help.
If I had not experience God directly.
In the universe and in everything.
It would be so much harder to
Merge this belief to the old.
What is God then?
I asked this Extra Terrestrial,
From the Ra Collective.
He told me, the infinite Creator is too immense.
To be a personal God.
They do not use the term, God.
They use the term, Infinite Creator
The infinite Creator is so big,
It needs to experience itself.
How does he do it?
But by creation.
And so he created the universe.
Everything came into being.
Only by this means,
Is he able to experience Itself.
It is like he was this big solar thing.
That needed to expand
And he expanded, split himself
Into this entire universe and us.
Through it, he experiences himself.
Not just through us, the human race.
But through the entire Universe.
Animate and inanimate.
How do my mind digest all this today?
By accepting and not questioning.
Accepting the fact that this – “what is God.”
Is an age old question.
No one could really answer.
Accepting it under the Oneness.
He is in everything.
Everything has this divine spark.
We are all interconnected.
Nothing exists independently of itself.
We are all in this Divine Web of existence.
The Divine is in us, all around us.
The Universe takes care of us.
I still feel loved
I still feel taken care of.
By whatever name, term or belief.
I still believe in my God.
What does it matter if I continue to believe,
He is a personal God?
As long as he is that for me.
A God, a divinity all around me,
In everything around me,
A Force I sink into, in meditation.
He is me, I am him, we are all ONE in him.