I am grounding myself in God.

Grounding myself in God.

The very name God says so much to me.

The very name God is prayer to me.

The very name of God fills me with holy unction.

It makes me experience all that is beautiful,

lofty, true and good.

It reminds me I have a God,

who loves me unconditionally.

That everything in life could fail me,

and I still have my God.

The grounding in God.

So what happened when I started perceiving God differently?

It was a jolt, disheartening at first.

And then it became just beautiful.

Brought up Catholic, my perception of God,

was at first this old man with white beard sitting on a throne.

That was how God the father was depicted.

Creation was God creating Adam and Eve,

and they multiply.

Hence God created us outside of himself.

When my late husband tried to unsettle us with; we are gods.

I dismissed it but the line stayed with me, we are gods.

On this path, I understood what he meant.

When RA told me, God did not create us directly.

I felt disillusioned.

I have always found the human body to be so intricate,

only God can create it.

The way our body are built like a machine,

and run smoothly until we become sick.

or it gets broken down with aging.

Then RA told me, God is not a personal God.

This God, I ground myself in,

a God I believe to be the heavenly father Jesus told us of,

who looks after us, takes care of all our needs.

A God who supervises my path to Him.

Filling me with encouraging periods of consolation,

where everything is wondrous.

Where nature would sing.

Heavens filled with joy and bliss.

And I, a beautiful element in this beautiful world.

My spirit would come out frolicking,

Like a nymph with joy.

Like a fairy with wings and magic.

And I, untouched by sin, or thoughts of sin.

I would feel not only sinless but incapable of sinning.

Those are states of bliss.

And then he would throw me into darkness,

where I suffer and suffer.

Where meditation no longer comes easy.

My mind not rapt off by his presence.

But filled with distractions and restless.

When minutest thing would become so big,

overwhelming me with it.

Throwing me into dark pits of desolation.

Where I would emerge, stronger for it.

If this is not my personal God,

then what is it?

RA: Blue Avians, could you expound on what it is?

This God, you call Infinite Creator.

The Infinite Creator is too immense to be a personal God.

Imagine him like a huge ocean.

You and all the universes are in this ocean.

This ocean you call God.

You are in this ocean, the universes are in this ocean.

And, you are seeing yourself as a drop in this ocean.

Or see yourself as energy in this ocean.

A drop of water in the ocean, 

you can still view it as separate from the ocean.

But energy? You cannot separate energy.

You are one with the Infinite Creator.

There is no separation.

You are one with it, everything around you is one with it.

The universe you are in, universes are one with it.

It is this immensity of the Infinite Creator.

RA: Blue Avians, if God is this immensity.

Not a personal God which means impersonal God.

Then when I am in trouble, who would I turn to?

To yourself, because you have the Infinity within you.

There is no separation so why would you go

looking outside of yourself for the Infinite Creator?

He, the Source, the Divine Infinity is within you, and without.

You are immersed in the Infinite Creator.

You look inside and you see the Divine in you.

Turn to that.

Is there a difference?

The same being who took care of you,

will continue to take care of you,

RA:Blue Avians, it is not the same.

I feel like an orphan, with you taking my personal God from me.

And so, I look inside of myself, as I have always done,

looking at my God within me.

However, with the new knowledge, it is the same yet different.

For onto the scene, came Ramana Maharshi,

with his self inquiry and real self which is the Divine.

I brought forth my real self, my eternal self who is the Divine.

I came to the realization if the real self is the Divine.

Then it is our God-self.

My mind however, would not articulate it.

It is blasphemy, I would get persecuted for it.

Do martyrs not die professing beliefs other than

what is acceptable to the Church?

I would not be killed in martyrdom,

but as sure as the day, I would lose my loved ones.

Can you imagine the implications of telling them,

No, God did not create you directly.

No, he is not a personal God.

Not that I would tell them thus.

We all have our belief systems.

I would not upset their applecart.

I would not need to.

They go to God, happy on their paths.

If they are not, if they start questioning,

then that would be a different matter.

It took me ages.

In channeling, I found I could not say it.

That we are Divine Beings,

That we are part and parcel of God.

That as scripture says, we are gods.

Getting back to it.

So how did I deal with God not being a personal God?

I just did.

Because the realization our real self is God-Self,

in itself a tremendous insight.

It is the truth and so I rest in truth.

My heart can only rest in truth.

If my heart is able to rest in it,

It is the truth.

Did I miss turning to my personal God.

No, because I still turn to God.

He is this immensity within me.

I still ground myself in him.

I still lost myself in him.

Working and walking, I still operate,

with my being steep in him.

The new insight however gives me

more cause for awe and wonder.