It was supposed to be a very good meeting.

We have similar backgrounds.

I expected myself to connect with the person directly.

However, once the livestream started,

I found I was not able to connect.

I was butting against a wall,

a strong thick wall she erected.

I could not get past that wall.

Not only that, I experienced resistance,

the undercurrent of hostility.

Everything I said was met with rebuttal.

My words falling off, none hitting the target.

No responding words of resonance.

Half way through, the tension became so strong,

I could feel it escalating.

Heavens, I am not going to fight with her.

I asked my spirit team for help and backed off.

By changing the topic.

I soon sensed she was not into my channeling.

Not into the Ra Collective I am channeling.

Any time I touched on these, I met with resistance.

I waited for the session to be over.

When it was over, I was in a state of shock.

What just happened?

It was supposed to be good.

We met, clicked on the spot and the Live took off.

Our spirits merging, uniting as we feed off each other.

Learning from each other.

However, most concerning was the fact, an hour only,

and I found myself doubting myself, my channeling.

The individual has her set of beliefs and admits no other.

Anything not in line with it, she rejected.

Her personality is very strong, controlling in a soft gentle manner.

A veritable wolf in sheep’s clothing and very charismatic.

It took me an entire afternoon to recover from it.

I sensed something there, I could not put a finger to.

Afterwards, for days on end, I found myself researching cults.

One thing stands out very clearly.

It is one thing butting against a set system of beliefs,

allowing no other than hers.

Another, when it allows no questioning.

Nothing I said was valid for her.

We were as though on opposite poles.

This opened the world of influencers to me.

Until then, I thought of them as big channels.

But they are big influencers, often cultish.

I would end this by just saying,

When you are not allowed to question anything,

take that as a big red flag and run.

The monastery was cultish in a way.

They preferred young aspirants.

I entered at age seventeen.

They told me that is the perfect age.

Someone young, they can easily mold and train.

They engaged in religious brainwashing.

God called you in, you can be saved only following this path.

If you leave it, you are leaving the path God chose for you.

And you cannot be saved.

They abide by a strict adherence to rules of the Order.

One do not question any of it,

even though they were drawn up centuries ago,

for another time, another period of time.

No questioning of their traditions either.

One has to be mindless, obeying blindly.

Blind obedience was very much lauded.

The thought just came to me,

I am a survivor of a cult.

I should look deeper into healing,

from leaving a cult-like form of life.

Is that why my spirit team is pushing me into this?

I thought it is to help others with my writings or channeling on cults.