A week ago, after my Saturday meditation circle.

I was happy as can be, getting lunch ready,

when I saw a big beautiful flower of light.

It was simply that, big and beautiful, geometrically shaped.

Shimmering with brilliant shining white light.

Completely translucent.

Instantly, I knew something was wrong.

I closed my left eye, my right eye was not seeing it.

The white light left to be replaced by a darker shade with red in it.

This gradually eased and left me with remnants of that flower.

I rushed to ER, I did not want to lose my vision.

I was diagnosed with, ocular migraine.

Seven days later, it is still affecting my eyes.

From pneumonia, to nodule in the lung, to eyes.

It was hard at first but now I am able to laugh at it.

Life, what is it serving me?

And at my Friday Live, I had two in attendance, then one.

That had never happened to me.

Is this like Job in the old testament?

Where things go from bad to worse?

And we have the saying, patience of Job.

I was in panic mode at one point, I did not want to lose my sight.

I went to meditate and felt it, my mind and body in disarray.

I stayed in meditation and slowly regained my equilibrium.

And now I am keeping my sense of humor.

What if I lose sight in one eye or get impaired vision?

As long as I am able to see?

And what if I am no longer able to see?

Then I will see with my inner eyes.

One of my sisters recently found herself fast going blind.

She has been through a lot of pain, staying in peace and joy.

But the threat of loss of eyesight threw her into a state of panic,

into a state of emergency I have never seen from her.

She went from one doctor to another.

Finally, a doctor flashed some red light in her eyes and she regained her sight.

Is God putting me to the test?

Two things I fear, throat cancer and loss of sight.

With a rather large nodule in my lung, which is being monitored,

I faced a cancer threat, what if it is cancer?

Then I will look at two members of my extended family with it,

and draw strength and courage from them.

They did suffer it very bravely.

Finally, I am able to feel it, joy and peace.

It has always been peace first and joy.

Now it is joy first and peace.

My soul is at peace, filled with joy.