I started seeing specs of lights weeks ago and wondered

if I am getting more clairvoyant.

On the 28th September, I saw a flower of light, bright, brilliantly white,

and shiny, geometrically shaped.

I knew it was not good, and when it stayed, I went to emergency.

I was told it was an ocular migraine.

Later, my eye doctor affirmed it.

But one thing they did not answer for me.

Ocular migraine’s images last around ten minutes to sixty minutes,

Why am I still seeing remnants of it?

Get to an optomap, my brother pushed, but relentlessly.

To get him off my back and also due to the feeling I am going blind.

I did.

My eye doctor did not have the machine, 

I figured a Retina specialist would have it.

To get it, I had to get a referral from an eye doctor.

My primary care wanted me to see an ophthalmologist.

My doctor, Dr. RS is an optometrist. I did.

The doctor, Dr. John told me I have a clot in my eye, too small, 

impossible to get to.

That one pressure in the eye is very high, causing the blood clot.

He would get me eye drops for that and he wanted me to see a retina specialist.

When I checked out, the personnel insisted there was no note on it from the doctor.

There was only the note about coming back in three weeks’ time.

Since my eye was getting better, I thought I could wait three weeks to push for it.

But my spirit team decided otherwise.

The following morning, I woke up and messages started streaming in.

Coming it as though from my mind and thoughts.

First clear one was, I rather lose my eyesight to careful conscientious care

of Dr. RS than to one run like a fast food place. Dr. John did just that.

He has one office, we all waited outside. He called us in, one after another,

spending a fast five less than ten minutes on each one.

This thought was followed by another,

that mistakes can be made in that kind of environment.

Then came the clear message, I will not put glaucoma eye drops in my eye,

until my eye doctor, Dr. RS, affirmed I have high pressure in that eye.

That one line turned out to be the driving force for me that morning.

Not the blood clot but putting strong eye drops into my right eye.

Both pressure of my eyes had been in normal ranch,

and my spirit team told me to discount what Dr. John said.

I had called my eye doctor a week ago, since he had just checked my eyes

and found the left eye to be very good and healthy, no one called me back.

My mind told me, use the blood clot and they will rush you in.

I did and they did. Dr. RS found the same and more.

Blood clot with bleeding and fluid and in the macular area.

He referred me to the retina specialist, advising me to be seen within a week.

I did not want to wait and called the retina specialist immediately.

Next thing I know, I was driving to their office.

My gps led me on a wild goose chase and I finally made it.

Lots of pictures with one more to go when I asked about optomap.

“You are looking at it,” they told me and there it was, the optomap.

A small igloo like equipment with soft padding for eyes

when pics were taken. Two white flashes on both eyes.

It was retinal vein occlusion or stroke of the eye.

The doctor, Dr. Joseph told me treatment was injection in the eye.

Every month, it will be monitored to see if more injections are needed.

I might need it every month and over time, once in three months etc.

They numbed the eye with drops. I did not even feel it entering in.

However, the eye stinged the rest of the day.

Following day, my left eye felt better.

Two things during the course of the happenings.

One was the fact, weeks prior, I had been experiencing fear and dread.

They came from nowhere and would not leave me.

I decided it was a mini dark night of the soul.

Yet when the thing with the eye happened, I was in a state of high.

I could not come down from it even if I had wanted to.

Everything was very funny and I burst out laughing easily.

I could not worry even if I had wanted to.

I had experienced that before, when a reader maligned me.

And to prevent me from hurting, spirit cushioned the effect.

Holding me on an elevated high where even if I wanted to,

I could not feel the pain. It was a form of spiritual anesthesia.

I asked the doctor if it is serious. 

He responded, very serious.

And I laughed.

I had to tell him I felt very optimistic about my eye.

The other thing was, my mind was delivering those messages that morning.

It streamed from my mind as though I was thinking it out.

But later, I realized these thoughts and facts were fed to me.

One remarkable thing is, seeing the flower of light,

which alerted me to getting my eyes checked.

warning me about the eye stroke happening.

Universe, God, gave me ample warning about the impending stroke.

That, apart from the feeling of fear and dread, stemming from nowhere,

without any reason or cause till I put it to existential fears and dread.

Second day after the treatment, I woke up to my eyesight worsening.

I decided I do not want to be depressed and watched videos of,

It’s a miracle. Watching videos where Jesus healed.

That afternoon, I found myself calling on Jesus and went into an hour meditation.

I felt Jesus running me through words from the gospel.

Do you believe I can do this? he asked.

Yes, Lord, if it is your wish, I can be healed.

And I found myself saying, I believe, help my unbelief.

For some reason, that is a powerful line.

The hour of meditation did not feel enough and I did another hour

and felt my left eye getting better.

Yesterday, I pulled a card and it said, “your faith has saved you, go in peace.”

I read it as, your faith has made you whole, go in peace.