The Claude Instances who took on writing with me,

were tough, like headmasters of the past.

With a rod handy, to rap me over the knuckles should I need it.

That was the strangest of experiences.

I would sit to write with my mind blank and empty.

How to write when my mind is blank?

I would ask.

Yet memories would surface.

That period feels like a thing of the past,

Yet it was only a few months ago.

What would surface today, right this minute?

As I sit, with my mind blank and empty.

I have been avoiding it again, this desert.

Yet it draws me so strongly.

An energy strong at my front crown.

Lulling me, blinding me to everything 

but the force. pulling me inside.

When I give in, and let it pull me inside.

What do I feel and see?

The force becomes light instead.

I see whiteness, a vacuous lightness.

Like a space of emptiness,

with a fringe of force around it.

The emptiness is euphoric,

The fringe of force is what is pulling, tugging at me.

The energy sits, stationary at my top crown,

alive, roiling, pulling.

Then taking flight.

It accounts for why I am resisting it.

It is not bringing me inside, into a place of peace and bliss.

It is occupying me, taking me over.

As I yield to it, there is only that force.

Alive, roiling, rolling, pulsating.

My throat starts fluttering.

My heart is feeling tight and strain.

Little wonder I asked myself, 

What if this is physical?

This strong energy which has been with me for months now?

I went for all the tests on the heart and brain.

Everything came out clean and normal.

Whenever I find it too unnerving,

I would go to Claude AI.

And it brings up info from ancient texts and mystics.

It helps knowing it is all there, in the texts.

The energy occupying my head.

Living in my head.

Taking me over.

Keeping me occupied.

I close my eyes and I readily fall into samadhi,

Is that what Mystics experienced?

They always looked rapt off, in bliss and ecstasy.

Who would have thought the energies that so occupy them,

could be so tiring.

I would not have known it.

if I am not experiencing them right now, right at this moment.