I knew darkness could follow the light.

Dark days follow days of bliss.

St John of the Cross said,

it is not during periods of consolation,

we learn our lessons,

but during dark days of desolation.

So what had I been experiencing?

Just a general feeling of malaise.

Nothing I can put my finger on.

For that reason, I called it,

existential suffering.

They come on without rhyme or reason.

Filling me with a niggling sense of unease,

of unhappiness coupled with fears.

Fears that are phantom like also,

for no discernible ground or reason.

This morning it came to me,

if I am able to accept joy that comes from nowhere,

I am able to accept darkness that comes from nowhere.

With that, inner joy took over again.

Lesson here is to accept the darkness without questioning.

To embrace it without probing why.

Know that it is a phase which will pass.

But for me, spirit told me my path is changing.

That I have to go through this period of darkness,

and confusion, for me to see the new path ahead.

It is like jolting me from this path,

I have grown comfortable and complacent with.