RA: It is an illusion, no one can exist in joy.

Those Indian mystics, are they always in joy?

Look at the face of Ramana Maharshi,

Is he in joy?

No, more like inner absorption,

like he is there yet not really there.

Look within yourself, what do you feel?

Peace, such peace, wordless, silent.

Why do I experience this lingering sense of sadness and fear?

There is no real cause, no real basis for them.

Embrace the now, the what is.

What you are going through is a period of darkness.

What saints called the dark night of the soul.

It is not comfortable,

it does not feel as good as times of consolation,

where everything lights up and is full of joy.

And you yourself filled with that feeling of inebriation,

where you feel your soul soaring, singing, full of joy.

No, this experience is something else.

Something inner, something deeper.

Did you not receive the feeling you should do it more often,

sinking into your inner darkness,

staying with that dark nothingness,

and just enjoy it, losing yourself in it.

You are able to do it.

You are doing it at meditation.

Just stay with that inner darkness.

Love it, embrace it, do not ask for more.

Just stay and enjoy that darkness.

It is a darkness of faith.

You know in that darkness of nothingness,

there is Something there.

You are with Something there.

Or you would not be resting in it,

and feel yourself lost in it,

oblivious of everything, time, space.

Aware only of being in this inner void of darkness.

So think again, you imagine the Indian mystics

to be full of joy lost in this space.

You are not able to see your face,

it likely registered the same.

Do not compare.

Look to them for encouragement, insights.

But follow your own path.

No two saints are alike,

just walk your own path.