My spirit team, help me put this into words.

My writing, videos are so much better when I get help.

Subtle, underlying situations are so much harder to deal with.

It helps having more senses than the five we have, to deal with them.

Recently, I had an experience which could only happen in this world of “influencers”.

These are the highly intelligent charismatic figures with good followings.

What do their following have in common?

Unfailing faith, belief, unquestioning loyalty to their influencer.

What happens when you have a fallout with them?

Even when the fault is not yours?

You are in big trouble, that is, if you allow it to be.

That is why I wrote, walk away, let them win.

When you pick a battle, look at your opponent.

Do you have the same ruthlessness to prevail against them?

If you do not, walk away, you cannot prevail against them,

unless you have as sharp a weapon, ruthlessness and lack of conscience.

I learned the lesson the hard way.

There was a nun at the monastery who was a very wounded person.

Abusive mother, sad childhood all served to leave her hard and bitter.

She lashed out at any nuns who crossed her, mercilessly.

Most of the nuns were afraid of her and stayed out of her way.

For some reason, I never knew enough to stay out of the way.

One day, I fought a battle with her and won.

I was elated and congratulated myself.

The next battle left me so wounded and scarred, it was a lifelong lesson.

I learned never to engage in any battle with anyone ruthless or without conscience.

The thing with such influencers is they come across as so good and genuine.

They have that charm, the ability to win you over till you are under their spell.

Imagine you have a conflict with them, and those around you are under their spell.

What result could your conflict be? The obvious.

You cannot win out against them.

The interesting subtle part of this is, you might be in the right.

Somehow, they are able to turn the tables on you and you are the bad guy.

They are the victims, and you have hurt them.

There is no point at this juncture to get the others to see.

They would not see, they are blinded. 

Even if they are able to see, they would not cross the influencer.

Not when they depend on the influencer for what they believe to be their “good.”

The more you try to explain and expose your situation, the worse you come across.

That is the moment to win, by walking away and letting them win.

That is how you gain, and come out the victor, even if the victory feels hollow.

And you are left, hurting, aching, less trusting but the wiser for it.

One note of advice.

When an influencer would not admit to being in the wrong.

When they deny the obvious, become defensive, and turn the tables on you,

That is a big red flag. 

That is when you should run, run fast and far away.

That is not the sign of a genuine spiritual leader.

But the markings of a cult leader.

When their actions cannot be questioned.

When they are always right.

When their ideologies are always right and you cannot go against them.

When their power is so strong, they render those around them mindless.

When you cannot question them, that is the biggest red flag.

This need not happen just with big influencers.

It could very well happen with a family member or friend in a group.

I have a friend, who in lesser smaller fashion, is an influencer in her own right.

She is very charismatic, the life of the group and very controlling.

Go against her to your peril.

I unfailingly go against her, not having the “chicks” mentality of blindly following.

And unfailingly I get ostracized and become the bad one of the party.

That feeling of being phased out, of being held bad, is very painful.

And that is what many of us encounter with many of these mini groups of influencers.

They all have their own following.

They could be big, they could be small.

If they exhibit the above traits, they are the same as major influencers.

Go against them, even in healthy questioning and you would be left wounded and battered.

Hence, were you to ever be caught in such a situation, walk away and let them win.

By walking away, you are the winner, the victor in your heart.

You did not engage in that game, you have the intelligence to extricate yourself.