Voice of a mystic
No entity, no intermediary — what is known, set down as it comes.
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From my inner silence
I tried so hard to produce somethingfor my YouTube channel.And there is nothing to produce.When I stop working to produce,from my silencewill sprout words.Few, sparse.Saying little, yet saying a lot.A few words speaking volumesmore than long texts and passages.
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I am
Where I am is reality. What I am is reality. I am neither this not that. I just am. Sinking into this nothingness. Being in this nothingness is nothing other than being in my ground. Where god and I am, no separation, no individuation. No seeking. Not even for the I am. For I already…
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The desert
After months of resisting the desert,the darkness of nothingness —I am in it.I sit in the darkness.I am in the dark emptiness.And it is fine.It is home. I do not seek to feel.I do not seek to experience.I do not seek anything.Just this darkness of being. I have arrived.The seeking stops.What happens nextis being carried…
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The Self Blocking
It is becoming real,this work of my Self with me. When I first started itat my Thursday Live,it was just that —asking my Self to help mewith what I was going into.Then Self started going where it wanted to. And now I learned a new thing.Self blocking me. I was on a roll,writing about my…
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The Knowing
Was it a knowing, or a vision?It felt more like a vision. I was going about my usual business of lifewhen I looked at me in the presentand looked back into the past.Literally looking past the veil. My present self —mistrustful of people,not letting anyone really in,my inability to work with people in a group,to…
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The Walls
I always knew something was wrong with me.A few times, the thought came in —it might be good to see a professional.But that cost money.I did not. Then in 2021, I saw Bluesky Hypnosis.I went to him.He was good.He made me cry.It is very hard to make me cry. I always knew if I cry,…
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Why the Self Is Better Than I
The physical “I” is hamperedby concerns, considerations.I want it to be good.What will they say if I write it?Whereas the Self is free from all that.It just is. The Tiger It just came to me.The tiger triggered is the Self in action. It is very hard to push me over the edge.When I am pushed…
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How the Self operates
My sister has a large tumorat the base of the skull,eating into the bone.Aggressive. Metastasis.I read her medical report.The utter devastation of it hit me.I went very quiet inside.No emotion. Before, processing such news,I would be aware of myselfgoing numb inside,pushing up the walls,insulating, protecting me.And slowly, by degrees,in the measure I am able to…
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The inner Ground
A few days ago, I saw it.I am operating from my ground.My base. I could see it —rooms, empty, spacious,light brown in color,color of the earth.Living in these rooms,I operate the outer rooms. I am operating from this ground self.The ground self just is.It has no feelings, no emotions.It is very quiet inside. What it…
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Flight of the Spirit
Yesterday, the energy at my head was very strong.It changed yet again.I went into meditation.The energy gripped my upper crownin a vise.It felt like a big intense glob,ready to take off. I looked at it, willing it to take off.What would happen?Would I get an out of body experience?An hour later, my sugar crashed.I laughed…
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Give me God or I die
It was mid afternoonwhen the “Give me God or I die”came on me again.It was very strong.Stronger than usual.My chest was tight.My heart straining.The energy in my head gripped it strongly.Squeezing it.Like a big hand squeezing a sponge.Squeeze and let go.Squeeze and let go.I was on edge. I moved to darken the roomand lay in…
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Me Yet Not Me
This happened a few months ago.“Do you want the gauze?” the doctor’s assistant asked me.I had just had an injection in my eye for retinal vein occlusion.“Yes,” I told her, “it helps the soreness.” I drove out. And found operating with one eye tipped the balance.If I turn left, I head toward Costco.If I turn…